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Today is the first of fourteen days of LOVE. It's my count-down to Valentines Day. I did this last year for Austin and the kids and plan on doing it again this year. I'm hoping that no one has remembered that today is the first of February, Ariana's been talking about last year's count down lots the past couple weeks. I really want at least today to be a surprise. The kids especially liked it. I never did anything to pricey and I don't plan on it this year either. The gift I was going to get Austin on the 14th was spoiled by our credit card company calling Austin to find out if the charge was a fraudulent charge. It was a great deal I got for a night away, we're still doing it, but there's no surprise there anymore. Now I'm trying to decide if I should get him another gift or not for the big day. Last year some of the things I did was give everyone hand massages, made cereal treats in the shape of hearts, wrote everyone a thank you note of things they had done that day, a few times it was just a little treat and a silly poem. I wrote cheesy little poems every day. Writing (as I am sure you've all noticed) isn't really my thing, so they were very cheesy, but everyone liked them anyway. Today to kick it off I'll be cutting out hearts like crazy and putting them all over the house. I am either going to write I love you in different languages on the back or write nice things about each person and they'll have to find them or maybe something else. Now it's time to get Cole off to school and Evie napping & Di watching Winne-the-Pooh and then I'll actually have a few minutes to myself to cut out hearts. I have a feeling the two and a half year old will be helping me a lot more than watching her movie, hopefully, we'll make a good team. :) And I'll count my lucky stars that the one and a half year old still naps!!
Oh, and I might be switching over to wordpress sometime soon. I don't think we'll change the website, so it won't be too big of a deal.
Austin's health problems are a constant thing around here, some days and weeks are good and some not so good. And some absolutely horrible, but that doesn't happen too often, which is good, considering they actually are completely horrible. Austin had his final follow-up with his neurologist a few weeks back and he told Austin that he may just live with some chronic pain every now and then in his arms from the virus that he had in October. His anxiety is the health problem that he is having the hardest time with. It effects his sleep a lot. If his anxiety is really high, he doesn't sleep at all. Considering the anxiety has stemmed from his childhood it is understandable that it may take some time to work it out. He's been seeing a therapist and is making good progress. He's also been reading several books, one of which we mentioned in an earlier post.
He's also been following-up with his Primary Care Doctor. He just found out that he has a genetic mutation that may be adding to some of these health problems. Unfortunately, in really life having genetic mutations doesn't mean you can read minds, transform into other people, control metal, create storms, etc :-). No X-men here. He's taking some meds that we're hoping that they'll help to ease the symptoms. We'll see how it goes.
Austin is overall doing good from the outside. He doesn't seem any different and does most of the things that he's always done: work, serve, etc. I just know he's so anxious inside and actually deals with physical pain too. He's able to work on little sleep and do just fine at work. He's also able to fulfill his church calling fine too. I am so grateful for those blessings, the Lord is mindful of us. I just hope this eases soon so he's able to feel like himself soon and feel happier. We're doing good and the Lord loves us and has blessed us countless times.
Merry Christmas to you all!
We have been enjoying our this Christmas season so much so far! One of the wonderful things about having so many little ones is getting to enjoy the excitement of Christmas through the eyes of five super excited children. And all the magic and mystery that comes with it. And, of course, the excitement is at times a little too much and leads to tears especially when mixed with sugary holiday treats, but most of it is a lot of fun!
At the beginning of the month Austin (re)introduced our baby Jesus manger to the kids at Family Home Evening (Monday Night family time and spiritual lesson). The kids are able to add a piece of "straw" to the manager every time they do something kind for someone else in the family. They've done great, its already starting to overflow!
We've had fun looking at lights, seeing Santa, decorating gingerbread houses with friends and celebrating Christmas with our ward (Church). We also just celebrated Cole's Birthday! I can't believe our little guy is 5!
As far as an update on Austin's health goes, he's doing well. He had a bit of a relapse with the anxiety attacks earlier this month. He got sick with just a cold or something, but it created the same feelings that he had when he was really sick and it was hard for him for long week. He couldn't sleep again, but he is doing better and probably sleeping better than he has in a long time. We're so grateful for Austin. We are very happy that we're blessed to have him be with us happy and strong for a long time. He is so great! He loves spending time with the kids so much. He says that we're his world!
I'm doing great! Always busy with the kids, but it keeps me out of trouble ;). I get to teach primary kids at church this year I've taught 10 year olds turning 11. Next year, I get to teach 9 year olds turning 10 and that includes Ariana. She is so excited that I am teaching her, it's nice that she isn't embarrassed of me yet! I get to go help once a week at Bria and Ariana's school, thanks to trading babysitting with a friend. One of my favorite memories from this year is when I ran/walked with Ariana and Bria in our first 5K. It was so special running across the finish line holding their hands and how happy they were to have done it. I thought I was being "nice" by letting Austin run it and me just getting a much slower time staying with our girls, but I definitely got the better end of the deal, it's was great.
Ariana is only about my head shorter than me. I am sure she'll be taller than me and not in many years. She loves loves LOVES to read. She's read through the first four Harry Potters this year and wanted to keep going, but I thought she needed to wait until she's in double-digits at least. She also really loved the Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series. The other night she read a 70 page book in 30 minutes, I didn't believe her and quizzed her about it. She just eats up books fast. She's currently ready the 10th 39 Clues book. She is getting so very good at piano and plays beautifully, last week at piano we had a hard time choosing just two songs for her recital because she play so many great. She is also such a wonderful big sister, she helped Cole yesterday build his whole lego star wars gift. She snuggles Evie when she sad and does a million other wonderful things.
Bria's favorite thing is art. She has at least half a dozen shoe boxes full of her art supplies and she hauls them all out to the table to do a project. Obviously, she's stocked up and that's not something she's getting for Christmas. She is so creative in her projects and can sit and make up songs and pictures for hours, probably days and without food if we let her! I've been so impressed with how much Spanish Bria has learned in her Dual-Immersion class. It is so cute to hear her speaking Spanish and she does a really good job. Bria's favorite books to read are Nancy Drew mysteries and Magic Tree House. She is also doing super good at piano and has improved a lot. She helps me so much when I ask and is always watching the clock to make sure they get off to schools on time.
Cole has changed so much socially in the past year. I really think preschool has helped him. He used to be so scared and shy and while that's still part of his personality he will talk and sometimes a lot in social situations! I still sometimes go into preschool with him hiding behind me, but he is happy to be there and will talk. I am so glad. This summer I talked to him about breathing deeply to get rid of the "nervous bugs" when I was taking him to swimming class and it really really helped him. I'm glad I was inspired to tell him that. Of course, sometimes his social-ness is a bit difficult, like when I get to his friends house to pick him up after playing and he goes and hides under the coffee table. You wouldn't think it was as difficult to get him out until you experience it. Thankfully, we talked about that too and he doesn't do that anymore. He is getting so good with numbers and adding and reading time. He also is starting to read more and more, it's always really fun to watch kids learning those things and how exciting all the new things like that are.
Diana loves PJs, perhaps more than Ariana loves books. All summer if was dress-ups, now that the cold has hit and with it footed-pajamas she is in the ALL THE TIME. Sometimes she comes down in the morning with a new pair for me to help change her into. So she has her night-time pjs and daytime pjs :). She also prefers to have her left arm and shoulder out with it zipped up all the way. She is such a character! I think all of Diana's clothes from this winter are going to be in perfect condition for Evangeline. She loves Cinderella and princesses in general. Earlier this year we noticed her eyes weren't focusing on the same point all the time and took her to the pediatric optometrist, She has Exotopia (one or the other of her eyes will sometimes "go out") We're hoping that she'll be one of the third of children that it just heals and she won't need surgery. The good news is that both eyes can see just fine. The other good news is after her last follow-up last week the doctor said that it seems like it's getting better. So we're keeping an eye on it and will keep on following up with her doctor until surgery or it's better. As it is, we only really see her eyes doing it now when she is tired or really upset.
Evangeline, where do we start with little Evangeline. The only thing little about our princess is her size. She has the energy of ten toddlers plus two. She is truckload of curiosity, often the mischievous kind. She has tons of kisses and a gazillion hugs. Oh and a few too many pinches of teasing older siblings. She is a fabulous little sleeper, even when sick with a horrible little cold and crying all night! She is such a special little spirit that was sent to us. I don't think we have made it too much of s secret that she was our big surprise and we weren't planning on five kids, not as close as the youngest two are especially. We knew what God was doing sending her to our family and she is the perfect piece to our puzzle. Most days I really don't know how I keep up with her. Especially days that involve her and Diana exploring together (ie, painting each other out of the Greek Yogurt and applesauce containers or unrolling brand-new rolls of toilet paper in down the hall when one of the older kids have left the bathroom open.) God knew we needed her and her happiness in our family. When Austin was sick she would be the little one that knew when Daddy needed an extra hug or cuddle. Always coming love him and snuggle with him, slowing down for just a few minutes when Cole is upset and giving him a hug. Sitting with Ariana while she reads her a story. Taking Diana her blankie and making Bria laugh when she is sad. Our little almost 17 month old doesn't talk much at all (probably 10 words), but she is so intuitive and we're happy to have our rambunctious beautiful princess.
A few pictures from this year to share.
That's us for now! No promises of when we'll get this updated next! Hopefully, on some sort of regular basis! Love and wonderful Christmas wishes to you and yours!
From Austin:
Well, I am actually doing really well now. Since Friday night, I haven't taken any prescription medications. I've been able to gradually increase the amount of time I stay asleep at night also. And then last night, I got quite a bit more sleep than I have since this whole thing started. I didn't even feel any anxiety at all when I woke up during the night. My muscles finally feel 100% better to me, too. Now that I've actually been able to sleep, my body's been able to finally repair itself all the way, I think.
I went to the gym for the first time in almost a month this morning. When I weighed myself, it said I weighed 147.6 pounds. So, I've lost almost exactly 10 pounds from this ordeal. Wow. I haven't weighed that little since Junior High. But, that's ok. I know I'll be able to gain back muscle as I start working out regularly again. I almost can't believe that I am able to go back to the gym. There was a time when I really thought my life would be completely changed--in a bad way. I am just so, so, so thankful to the Lord that I really am back to normal now--but with a new perspective on things. I also am SO very grateful to all of you who have helped us out and prayed for us and offered us comfort. This was a very trying time, and we couldn't have done it without all of you.
So, I guess this is part 2. I wanted to show off the kiddos. We had a fun Halloween. This year, the older three kiddos are into Star Wars and I made their costumes.
Cole was going to be Luke or Darth Vader, but that all ended when I let him watch The Phantom Menace. As soon as he saw Darth Maul and his most awesome double-bladed light saber it was decided. His awesome Aunt Caitlin said she would do his makeup and it looked awesome. Of course, I couldn't find a red bladed double light saber for less than 50 bucks. So he had a blue and green light saber. I was also able to get a mask and make it into a hat for him to have all the horns and everything. He was pretty awesome.
We had some drama with the old two girls. Bria really wanted to be something with Cole and at first they were going to be Woody and Jessie and then she switched to being Leia when he decided he was doing Star Wars Characters. Ariana really wanted to be a Jedi and once she found out that Leia trains to be a Jedi sometime after the movies end, she was so excited and wanted to be Leia too. Bria was not going to have that and thus ensued lots of drama. In the end, it was worked out that Ariana would be a girl Jedi (Leia) and Bria would be Princess Leia Organa and look like she looks in the movies. The worst part about making these costumes was there are no patterns anywhere, so I have to find patterns and alter then or just make them up. I was really surprised at how well they turned out. It was also a great outlet for me to have something to do other than worry about Austin and all the "what-ifs" that whole time. I forgot that I kinda like sewing and can actually do it.
My wonderful mom made the two little ones princess costumes. The looked so great!
Halloween was a lot of fun. Ariana and Bria had a choir performance in the morning that we all were able to go to. Austin was feeling well enough, that in the evening he took all the kids around to trick-or-treat. Diana and Evangeline slowed down the procession quite a lot. Evie had to walk up to every door on her own which is really cute, but slow. If you know Evie there's not much you can do with her once she sets her mind to it, so she had to get out of the stroller and walk up to each door. She only ended up lasting one block before Austin brought her back home. Of course, she loved having her very own basket of candy.
Ariana actually ended up leaving Austin and going trick-or-treating on her own with her friend. I'm not sure how I feel about her being old enough to do that. She's going to be taller than me before I know it!
A funny thing that happened on Halloween was dinner. I thought it would be fun to make chili and bread bowls. The kids thought it was really cool, but they all HATED the soup bowls and wouldn't eat them. I guess I should stick with mummies made out of hot dogs and dough. Austin, Caitlin and I loved the bowls at least, but the kids thought the soggy bread was inedible! That's not going to be a repeat meal anytime soon, too bad.
From Austin:
I think an update is in order. Yesterday was a great day at work. It started by me totally changing my attitude towards commuting. So, my morning commute was
Another blessing from the Lord: A good friend of mine that used to work with me at a couple of places was in town (he lives in Austin). He emailed me on Monday about meeting for lunch sometime this week. I didn't respond until Tuesday evening. So, I explained how I was having a hard time keeping up with emails, etc. due to some health problems. He responded and seemed to think that meant maybe we shouldn't do lunch. So, I responded and filled him in on my situation. He and my boss and I all went to lunch at a great Thai place near work (Thai House Cusine 2, in case you're interested--it's yummy). He and I have worked for my boss at the same three places.
Well, lunch went really well. I hadn't had Thai food in forever either. So, it was just a bunch of little "happy" moments that really added to how well yesterday went. The weather was also decent. I got home at a good enough time to go on a walk in the sun with a few of my kids. I put Evie in the little stroller, and she was just loving it the whole time. I did a LOT of smiling and laughing during the walk.
Nighttime came, and I was feeling REALLY good. I had only twinges of panic come up during the evening. I also noticed my appetite was mostly back. For bedtime, all I took was a couple Tylenol, 1mg of melatonin and 1/4 of one of my Xanax pills.
I was able to fall asleep after not much time in bed and never felt a panic attack come up. I did end up waking up early last night, but I wasn't panicking, like all the other times. I was just a bit anxious, but I mostly couldn't shut my mind off. After trying to relax for maybe an hour (I'm not sure, 'cause I hide the clock at night now) I gave up and went downstairs to read. But, I wasn't hard on myself for "failure"--like I would normally be. On the way down I took a valerian supplement.
Since I was downstairs, I saw it was 4:22am. I never checked the clock again, though. I read for maybe a good half hour then went back upstairs to get in bed. I did my relaxation and fell asleep maybe after another 30 minutes. I woke up a couple more times, but got back to sleep fairly quickly after doing my relaxation exercises. The next time I woke up, I could tell it was light outside. I checked my phone, and it said it was 7:33am! I had finally had a full night's sleep with NO panic attacks.
What a miracle and blessing from the Lord. I am continually amazed at how much he's willing to bless me--and my family through this ordeal. And I'm so humbled because I know so many people out there don't have success this quickly with panic. Though, I'm lucky that my panic is entirely due to not sleeping and not something else that is less of a transient issue. I'm so lucky.
Oh and another HUGE, HUGE blessing I forgot to mention before is the fact that ever since my insomnia and panic attacks started last Wednesday, Diana has slept through the night--EVERY night. Before this past week, she had been waking up several times a night fairly regularly. At most, she'd go two nights in-a-row without getting up during the night for the last, I dunno, LONG while. Since my insomnia started on Wednesday, I've been begging the Lord every night to have Diana stay asleep during the night. And she has! It's amazing! It's been over a week straight of her actually sleeping through the night. It's no coincidence. It's truly another miracle. Diana has never been a good sleeper. Yet another wonderful blessing from the Lord during this trying, trying time.
Most of this entire morning I have felt like ME. I don't know how to explain that any better. But for any of you that have gone through anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc. you know what that means. I still have felt a bit of anxiety come on a few times. But, I've been able to catch it and ride it out without letting it get too far. I know I still have a long road ahead. But, the Lord has shown me that the end is coming nearer. And I know it is because of all the prayers and the priesthood blessings offered on my behalf. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have been praying for us. Again I want to say that I absolutely know there is a God in heaven, and we are His children. He loves us so very much, and He hears our prayers. So many of us suffer from so many different things, but there is a reason to it. This whole experience has taught me so much.
One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is that you absolutely CAN NOT judge anyone. You have no idea what they may be going through. They very most likely are doing the best with the hand they've been dealt in life. Two scriptures come to mind. Doctrine and Covenants 64:10 says, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." And Luke 6:37 says, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven". Only He knows everybody's situation. And for all intents and purposes, we are all equal here on this earth dealing with our own trials, limitations and weaknesses. None of us are better than anyone else. Sorry, I'm getting a little "preachy". :) But, these are a few things that I keep thinking about over and over again. And I know them to be true. Thank you so much, all of you who have been praying for us. The Lord does hear our prayers.
Now that I am back to posting I really want to post pictures of our five cute kiddos in their costumes. Hopefully, I will do it soon. Today I thought I should give another fabulous good news update on Austin.
Today Austin had his follow-up with the neurologist and he is just fine. They couldn't see a single thing wrong in the tons of tests they did on him. He was able to go over them thoroughly and he is perfectly healthy. So, the doctor says it was a virus that attacked his muscles and the infection from it is what made him so unable to move and function. We feel like without the blessing and the prayers that have been offered on Austin's behave, it would have been another diagnosis and we are really grateful for all the family and friends and support that they have given us.
Austin is physically feeling really good and has his motion and movement back. He gets little bits of time where they'll feel sore and stiff, but the doctor said that is too be expected as his body heals completely.
Unfortunately, all the stress of not knowing and the scary outcomes of what could be, Austin started having panic attacks. He wasn't able to sleep for four days, among other things. Now with the help of the doctor, a therapist, a couple doses of medication (as needed), a fabulous book about anxiety that he has been reading and another priesthood blessing (thank you so much Sean and David) he has been able to calm down and keep himself a lot less anxious the past two days. He actually slept almost the whole night last night. We think this is the last hurdle of this trial, and we can already see the numerous reasons and blessings behind this trial. Even with knowing all this, it is still just really hard for Austin to calm down and relax, but he knows he'll get there soon. Just keep praying to the Lord with sincerity and faith, and we'll get there.
From Austin: Well, last night was pretty terrible. I had a coworker that convinced me I had MS. So, that threw me into a panic. So, I did not sleep at all last night.
I had my EMG this morning, though. I was extremely nervous about it. The doctor administering it told me that he was going to test for 8 - 10 different things. He explained the procedure to me and then started to do just some physical tests on me--much like what was already done with my PCP and the neurologist's nurse. These included tests of my reflexes, too. I showed good strength and good reflexes.
I told him I was extremely nervous and anxious due to a coworker making me believe I have MS. I kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. He and his assistant (a resident or intern) kept talking to me about different things (where I grew up, what I do, etc.), to calm me down. Really these guys were so good at helping through this.
They start with the surface electrodes on my arms that send electric currents into my muscles. It's really quite an interesting sensation. After that, they start with the intramuscular electrodes that consist of sticking fine needle-type electrodes into my muscles at various depths while they take readings and also have me contract my muscles after they take the at-rest measurements. This is sort of uncomfortable, but bearable. After he does my left arm, he repeats the whole process on my left leg.
During the testing he keeps getting surprised looks and saying, "good", "that's good", "that's good", etc. As he's progressing, I ask about MS. He says they need the MRI to be sure, but he said from what he sees so far, he doesn't suspect it. My symptoms don't really match up. He asks where and when I got the MRI. I told him I got it Tuesday morning at UVRMC. He says they should have the results back already to Dr. Taher, then. He asked if they called. I say no. He then tells his assistant to go find it.
The assistant comes back a few minutes later and hands it to the doctor. He takes a quick look at it and then turns it toward me and says, "here, take a look". I read it as he tells me what it says: "Brain scan normal. No lesions." The doctor then says that Dr. Taher has already taken a look at it and says it's normal. He then says that with the tests he performed, he ended up testing for 12 - 14 things. And that if he were to take this same test, he'd want my results. He said that he seriously doubts I have MS. He also told me earlier in the testing that I didn't have Guillain Barre. He tested for that, and I don't have it. He says he tested for a lot of "scary stuff", and I don't show to be having any of them.
He then goes on to explain how much he respects Dr. Taher and how he is "the best there is, maybe even in the country". He says he likes working with this clinic, because he likes working with Dr. Taher and knows he is the best. He tells me that I'm in good hands, and I should feel relieved with the results from my MRI and EMG.
So, I did feel so relieved. I broke out in tears, because I was so grateful to hear that my nerves are healthy and that I have no lesions on my brain. It's hard to describe, really, what it feels like--it's really indescribable. Unfortunately, I still am feeling anxious. I just can't shake it. My heart rate is currently down to about 80 beats/minute at rest. This is high for me. I'm usually in the low 60s. However, that is a million times better than where it was during the night last night. It was hanging aroud 120 - 130 beats/minute. I think the problem is that such a sustained time of being under a panic attack has me so full of adrenaline, that my body is having a hard time relaxing. Plus, I still don't know what's going on with me.
In the end, I got probably the best news I could ever dream of. On the way home from the EMG, I was praying out loud, thanking the Lord, telling him how there's never any way I could possibly even come close to thanking Him sufficiently or "paying him back" or making myself deserving of such a blessing. I just feel so lucky and blessed. So many people in this life do have to go through life-altering challenges. While this has been a couple of the hardest weeks of my life, it really looks like I should be ok (once I can calm down enough to sleep, that is).
For those of you out there that have been praying for us, I also can't thank you enough. We could not have gotten through this without you. It's made all the difference in the world. I know the Lord heard your prayers and blessed us tremendously because of it. Miracles still happen today. And the Lord has not shut the heavens.
It has taken me half the day to write this, but as promised here is today's update. I've been busy running here and there. Trying to figure out Jedi and Sith costumes, getting groceries and turning in Diana's notarize birth certificate before it got to late to correct a mistake.
Austin's MRI was at 7:15 this morning. It went as well as it could. Sounds like an experience I don't ever want to have and Austin never wants to have again. It was a lot of loud beeping and vibrating coming from all directions for 30 minutes. It went really well and he didn't have to have the metal gadolinium injection so they could see things better. Now we're just waiting on his doctor for the results, I think we may have to wait until his follow-up a week from today to find out all the results, but hopefully sooner. Apparently, this was mostly to rule out MS.
Austin says he's feeling a lot better today than even yesterday. He hasn't really been feeling the muscle spasms that he normally feels throughout the day as much as before. As far as what he can and can't do he's never lost the ability to walk. It did hurt at one point, but not now. He went a couple days when he couldn't hold Evie, but he can hold her and Diana for a bit now. He can't hold the older kids, but how many 9 year-olds really need to be held? He can wash his hair, just fine now; he only needed help twice for that. He's never needed help eating or brushing his teeth, though he started worrying he might not be able to brush his teeth, he never got that far. He can drive ok now, he wasn't able to earlier. Austin was working out just about every day for the past several years; that's something he can't do now. Nor can he cook or exhort force on things to open or to keep a squirmy child still for a diaper change or getting them dressed. So, I do the heavy-lifting around here. Not that we have much of that:). Our older children have been so wonderful in helping around the house and listening. He also has been able to type just fine, which is what he does for the majority of his job. At first he needed breaks, but he seems fine now. Being able to type has been a huge blessing. I may have missed some things, but that gives you an idea. On the outside, he looks perfectly healthy. We just need to figure out what is going on inside. He might login later and add some things.
Oh and I wanted to thank everyone for the well wishes and prayers and the offers of help. We are truly doing great, but we will call on you for help if we need it! Thank you so much! Tomorrow he doesn't have any tests or appointments so we won't have anything to update until Thursday.
I think it might be time to update this a bit. It's been on my mind and now with everyone wondering what is going on with Austin and my worry that things are being misunderstood, I think it's time to write a few things on here. There are still lots of things that we don't have answers for; that is one of the reasons we haven't talked about it with very many people. We didn't even talk to our moms until last Wednesday about it. Things we know, a timeline(please excuse the typos this did take a long time to write and I haven't gone thoroughly over it all):
Austin texts me that he probably has the flu, I'm out with my sisters celebrating Caitlin's birthday. I come home to him in bed with a 102.5 fever and his body hurts a lot.
Same symptoms, doesn't work even though it's a day he tele-commutes, he feels too weak.
Fever's gone, body is still really ache-y and muscle weakness. He thinks it's such a weird flu [From Austin: almost no congestion, no cough and a slight sore throat--just weird. Plus the soreness was most definitely in the muscles and not the joints--like I typically get with the flu] and is a little concerned. I think he just needs more time to get better.
He thinks he's better from the flu, but the muscle weakness is stronger. He's really concerned. I take him to the insta-care. They say it could be mono and some other things. They take his blood and send us home. They tell us we'll get the results the next day.
Austin doesn't sleep. He knows there is something really wrong with him. Unfortunately, Diana doesn't sleep either. I get up with her a half dozen times before I compromise with her and go sleep on the couch in her room if she'll stay in her bed. Shortly after I leave our room Austin gets up, having given up on sleeping. The whole time I am gone, Austin is awake and scared and gets on the internet and finds Gullian-Barre Syndrome. It's scary. It sounds like exactly what he has. Luckily, early in the morning his brother Bryan (time-zone ahead of us) gets online and talks to him a lot about it. I still can't express how grateful I am that Bryan was able to help Austin when I had no idea how bad things were for him.
Diana probably doesn't actually fall asleep until 4:30. So I am really out. Austin's great and actually lets Diana and I sleep until 8 and comes and wakes me up and fills me in. Not only that, but I observe how hard it is for him to do things. He asks me to wash his hair for him when he showers. I put on my "brave-face" for the next week, he knows I'm worried, but not the extent. I don't think it would really help the situation. He's able to get in touch with a good friend and neighbor, his Elder's quorum president. Matt comes over and shares a wonderful scripture with Austin. Matt and another neighbor, Micah give Austin a priesthood blessing and among many wonderful things, they bless him that he will completely recover.
The kids and I leave to church and hope Austin can sleep. He relaxes, but sleep still escapes him. [From Austin: Another little miracle: When I gave up on sleeping, I went downstairs hoping to find something "religious" on the TV. BYUtv is replaying a session from this past General Conference--the session where there were a BUNCH of talks about trials in this life. I am able to get into a deep state of relaxation. For the first time in almost 24 hours, my heart rate slows from around 120 beats/minute to around 80 or so.] A little bit after the kids and I get home, I've put the little ones to bed and Austin is lying on the couch. I get the privilege of witnessing a miracle. Austin describes it as "waves of warmth" shooting down his arms and legs. He doesn't feel completely better at all, but can move things a lot more without pain. He is so surprised and happy. I am married to such a great man. He goes upstairs as soon as he can and thanks the Lord. I only know this because I watched. He feels better and blessed, less anxious. Though the whole day we still don't hear back from the instacare with blood results. I'm convinced that he has mono and he just feels weak because of that. He is still sure this is something else. Tonight, I read to him until finally, Austin falls asleep this night. [From Austin: And I am so grateful for such a wonderful wife--who after getting little sleep the previous night, stayed up until almost midnight to read to me so that I could relax.]
Austin feels good enough to work today (from home), still weak and anxious, but he's able to work almost the whole day. The weakness in his arms makes him need to take some extra breaks. It takes almost the whole day to get his blood results back. They're all negative. He's actually had mono before and doesn't have it now. He's able to make an appointment with his new primary care physician for Tuesday morning. He feels about the same as the afternoon before; I don't have to wash his hair today.
Today, Austin's able to get just about another full day of work in--feels the same weakness. Austin's appointment goes really well; he chose a great doctor. Actually, the Lord led him to find a great doctor, and we're feeling more blessed. The doctor does actually think it may be Guillian-Barre, but diagnosing it is tricky. Austin goes home, and the doctor says he'll research more and get back to him. That afternoon the Doctor's office calls him and tells him to see a specialist. This is one of the only ridiculous experiences we've had. They (the specialist's office) won't make an appointment because they haven't received the referral fax. They don't check their faxes or answer the phone when he calls back or return his several voice mails.
Finally, Austin gets in touch with the receptionist. She's rude and doesn't seem to care about the situation at all. The neurologist that he's being sent to doesn't have any availability for a month and a half. This is not something we can wait that long to even get seen for, we're really worried at this point. Thankfully, the doctor's office refers him to someone else, and he can get in Monday morning. So glad! Still seems like forever away, but a lot closer than December! Later that day, his primary care physician calls and after further research, he isn't just handing him off, but also prescribing a few things for him to take, one orally and one that is injections that he'll go get on Monday afternoon. Both Austin and I decide we had better tell our mothers. [From Austin: As Austin is thinking about calling his mom that evening, Maggie calls to talk about a possible family history miracle. And he then breaks the news to his parents.]
Austin works from home again. He gets just about a whole day in, so thankful for an employer and boss that is ok with all this working from home. I think this day he feels about the same as well, though, I think he's getting a little more used to how it feels.
Austin and the kids have today and tomorrow off. We spend a lot of the day at home, but in the afternoon we go to Thanksgiving Point Gardens. Walking outside is something that calms down Austin and ever since Sunday's miracle it's something he can do just fine. I push the stroller, drive, pick up kids, etc. All things he either can't do or can't do comfortably. [From Austin: And I consider it one of the "little" blessings from the Lord that we had beautiful weather for the entire week this week.] I don't think we wore him out much, and we had such a wonderful time. [From Austin: And having Caitlin there to just talk to a bit about my condition was also very comforting.] We stopped by and got good greasy food at Apollo Burger, we love that place! [From Austin: And there was an elderly couple there that just adored our kids and chatted us up for quite a bit just about our family and their family. It also helped take my mind off of my condition. Plus, just seeing their friendly faces just made me feel good. This was yet another of the many "little" miracles.] We also saw an old friend of mine from high school, well actually I've known him since 2nd grade, so that was fun and really random.
Friday October 21A day together as a family. My mom is great, she's been watching her great-niece a lot this week and even over night once, and comes out late in the evening so we can go to the temple. It was a great night and brought us a lot more peace. Austin doesn't feel anxious at all for the first time in a week!
We do yard work for the morning. I do all the heavy pulling and hauling and take two loads of our pulled-up garden to the yard waste place. Austin is supposed to be supervising the kids, but it's hard for him not to work, so he works a bit. I should have watched him more carefully. Some things he can do, some things he knows not to do. I think he was a little more tired the rest of the day, but no lasting effects [From Austin: aside from some small spasms in my muscles and tingling in my arms]. I sent him inside after a couple of hours so he wouldn't do anymore, and my sweet husband does the dishes. While I am glad he is feeling better, I'm worried he'll over do it, especially since we still don't know what's wrong with him. Thankfully, the BYU Football Game comes on at 1:30 and it's easy for him to relax and watch it. Yay, for another cougar win and a decidedly good one!
Austin has a busy, busy day, and he's able to go to all his meetings. [From Austin: He also had a previously scheduled PPI with the bishop in the afternoon. That morning was ward council, and the bishop asked how his health was. When he went in to see the bishop for the PPI later that day, the bishop said he had been thinking about him the whole day since talking to him at ward council. He said that he could not get out of his mind the overwhelming feelings of "love and gratitude" that the Lord had for Austin. He said he knew that the Lord really wanted Austin to hear that. This was yet another confirmation of how much the Lord knows us, how much he loves us, and how he kept letting Austin know throughout the week that he was not forgotten through so many, many "little" things.]
Austin goes and sees the neurologist. He has had good reflexes in his joints. Something he has had his whole illness, which is good, but also means it probably isn't Guillian-Barre Syndrome after all. It's probably some kind of virus that attacks nerves or brain stem cells, most have good a prognosis, but we need to find out what it is. [From Austin: The neurologist mentions there's a few that don't have good prognoses, but most do. But the important thing is to at least make sure it's not a "progressive" disease.] He has an MRI scheduled for Tuesday and an Electrical conduction velocity test scheduled for Thursday. Hopefully, by Thursday we'll have at least a real diagnosis. He also went to see his primary care physician and got his first B12 injection, actually the nurses were supposed to have him in sooner for that, but they didn't realize it. At least he got it now. His doctor encourages him to cut refined sugar, processed foods and pesticides. I laughed a bit when I heard this one. Austin hardly ever eats sweets (I'm always the one eating them up in the house), we don't buy processed foods and we eat whole grain and organic as much as we can, so we'll see if we can improve here. He'll go in twice a week for the b12 injections. The doctor said he could tell Austin had a lot more strength and mobility in his muscles today than last Tuesday. [From Austin: And the doctor was almost as excited as Austin to realize that.] So that's great to hear too.